I Should be Paralyzed

I have struggled with my weight my entire life. I have also struggled to have medical professionals actually listen to me.  "You need to lose the weight." has been the response to 99.9% of my adult life medical interactions. 

I was involved in three serious auto accidents between 1993 - 1999, one was so bad that the car had to be cut open to remove me.  All three instances left me stiff and uncomfortable.  All three doctors advised that I was fine, but needed "to lose the weight."

Life went on and I learned the limitations of my adult body.  I have always been strong and never shy about taking on manual labor.  I consumed ibuprofen to cope with the pain left from my projects.

In 2007 I began to have tingling and numbness in my limbs.  My PCP diagnosed it as arthritis and advised that it would get better if I "lost the weight."  The rheumatologist advised that my arthritis was in an early stage and could be slowed if I.... you guessed it (lost weight).

The first photo of me and my wheels ever publicly posted. My
secret is out, but the days of wheels and not-pregnant huge
bellies are numbered!

My symptoms worsened to the point where my body was out of my control. I would lose feeling in my legs, felt weakness in my back and neck as if they were going to snap.  Walking further than 40 feet was impossible. By 2010 I had missed out on so much of life that we decided to use our own money to buy a used power chair. 

The spring of 2012 began my journey with sciatica. The first episode was so terrifying that I went to the ER.  No x-ray was taken; just the diagnoses of sciatica, prescriptions for pain killers and muscle relaxers, and the obligatory "lose weight."  I would visit that ER 3 more times over the next 3 years - always given drugs, always told to lose weight, x-rayed once with no feedback from the medical staff.  We assumed that I was just going to have live with chronic sciatica. 

In 2015 I began seeing a new PCP, a group of doctors.  At one point we asked for the doctor to sign the DMV form so that we could have a permanent disabled parking sticker (we had been given several temporary permits). She asked why, I advised that the weakness in my legs had gone on for 5 years.  She signed the form and advised a weight loss program - no further investigation into the cause.

3 - 5 times per year I have visited my doctor's group for sciatica episodes.  My last episode, this past July, the doctor asked me why I had not had an x-ray or MRI.  Clearly this was my responsibility, at least in his eyes.

An x-ray in July revealed something concerning.  The X-ray gave my doctor reason to prescribe an MRI, which happened in August. The only information that was given to me after either of these tests was that there was an issue in my back between the L5 & S1 vertebrae.  I was referred to a spine specialist. 

The spine specialist was the first doctor to ask about symptoms. When I finished recounting my medical history he just could not stop shaking his head in disbelief.

Disbelief for two reasons:
1) That none of my doctors had managed to put my symptoms together and test further. He also expressed frustration with the "lose weight" diagnosis.

2) Disbelief that I was NOT PARALYZED! My case is severe enough that he insisted it would be in his top 10 of cases that he would remember for life.

My disk has completely relocated into the space where my spinal cord and nerve roots should be.  This would cause paralysis to my limbs as well as other systems, and quickly explained why my bladder has been such a pest these past few years.

The orange oval with the smiley face is how the vertebrae and disks should appear.  To the right of the bones and disks is a white line and a gray line, which is the spinal cord and nerves.  Moving down to the box with the sad face you can see that, at the green line, the spinal cord is pinched.  To the left of that pinch is a blank space where the disk should be. 

I will have surgery on October 16th to have the disk removed.

I asked about putting it off until January and was told by the doctor that if I were his wife I would be in surgery the next morning.  He advised that sudden jerks, a slip, or a fall could result in permanent paralysis.  Um, well, since you put it that way... I was trying to be clever and use the surgery to meet my 2018 deductible, but that quickly seemed like a much smaller issue when he said "permanent paralysis."

I had almost begun to buy into the idea that ALL of my health issues stemmed from being overweight.  After a decade of hearing doctors say that to me my husband was already a subscriber to this notion, as was most of my family.  There was no one in my corner and I began to question my sanity.  Maybe this sense of defeat prevented me from questioning doctors?  I had seen a dozen or so doctors in as many years, and all kept leaping to the same conclusion (lose weight). Could they all be overlooking something?  In the end, yes - yes they were. 

I have tried to get my weight down but have struggled even more without the ability to exercise. I am really looking forward to being able to walk further than 40 feet, and super excited at the possibility of (gasp) dancing!!! 

Look out world, I am coming back!

An additional benefit to this medical discovery and road to recovery:
I have terrible luck.  Seriously terrible to the point where people close to me refer to Murphy's Law as Michelle's Law.  My in-laws gather frequently for dinner and order carryout.  Out of 14+ meals we pick up only 1 is consistently wrong.  The wrong toppings on a burger, raw chicken more than 50% of the time, or basic menu items out of stock when I order. 

The bad luck is not limited to dining.  Every facet of my life is peppered with instances that no one can believe actually happen - even when they witness it first hand. 

The silver lining to this situation is the realization that all of my good luck seems to have been concentrated in my back.  Once I get this cleared up then the universe may be able to dispense it more evenly (fingers crossed).